Decaf




I willingly gave up coffee on a schedule during the month of January. I say schedule because, it certainly was.  I decidedly chose not to drink coffee, Monday to Friday, the time I usually relied on it most. This was again a game of testing what I was made off. The background. I have been in a serious relationship with coffee from the age of 13. While everyone else was sipping there sugar filled milky tea I was using a french press to get my fix.  It was love at first taste, granted first taste was an instance Maxwell House red label, but every addict has to start somewhere right?! I enjoy the taste, the bitter after bite. I adore the smell, even the dirty coffee stank that lingers in the teacher’s staff room at every single school. Most of all, I enjoy the social aspect of it all. Nothing better then catching up over a coffee. Or even just going to a coffee shop to get some work done. Or an afternoon of cutting it up like cocaine and snorting it up both nostrils while watching repeats of old school Nescafe adverts. Just me?  I would see If I could kick the habit during working hours all the while leaving me to enjoy it socially at the weekend as normal.  Lets go.


First week. The headaches. Oh my days. What is with those god dam headaches? I felt like a heroine addict suffering from withdrawals. My headache started around 9 in the morning and persisted until the evening. I started to hallucinate the giant coffee beans around 1. Jokes. But I did start to fantasize about drinking it. To fight fire with fire, I replaced my coffee with water. Lots and lots of water to deter the throbbing. I was highly hydrated and pissing like a machine. It appears only with time that the headaches subside. By Thursday the pain dissipated. I felt tired. Super tired. I attributed this to the fact I was no longer having a coffee to clear my head as I sifted through my morning emails.  Friday was hard, as its usually the day I like to treat myself to coffee from a favourite coffee shop on route to the office. Beany by Southbank being a preferable option.  I felt miserable passing it by. It was like a punishment.  That Saturday, my first day off my ban, I stopped off to get a coffee at Pret on route home from the gym. Don’t judge. There coffee is actually pretty decent. It tasted amazing.  A reward for my hard work. 

Second week. I was worried the headaches would return due to my intake of coffee at the weekend. Luckily they did not. Winning. I did start to miss the comfort it can bring, sipping a hot beverage is soothing to the soul.  I decidedly substituted with healthy teas. Lads totally the ticket. I did not as many would, try to drink decaf, in honestly I think it tastes like crap, If I am not having the real deal I may as well stay away totally. Its like those weirdos that drink non alcoholic beer. Why?


By the third week, it was the new normal. I brewed a green tea instead of a coffee during working hours. I was feeling pretty smug by now. I didn’t annoy everyone by talking about it anymore. Lads weirdly I had more energy too. What the hell is that about? for the last 15 years, I attributed bouts of energy in the morning from my ritual Americano - whats the dealio? The fourth week, I can honestly say I didn’t even think about the fact I was purposely avoiding it, It was just how I now rolled on a weekday. I had formed a new habit. It was only on Thursday of that week that it even entered my mind that I was still on my no coffee in work kick. Instead of smelling coffee. I was smelling victory. Was that line as cheesy as I think?



So going forward, I have decided to carry this on. I no longer drink coffee during the week. Now do not get me wrong, If I am super hung over or in need of something to cheer myself up I will not forceable deny myself the pleasure of a latte however, for the most part, I will continue to keep it out of my work week intake.  I still love coffee, In fact I have said it before and I will say it again, If there ever was a coffee based aftershave, I would definitely be physically attracted to those who wore it.  I still want to open a coffee shop. I am still a snob when it comes to what coffee I will drink, even more so now that my intake has drastically decreased I can no longer waste any opportunities. Someone have a word with Cork Airport before my next trip home please. 

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